Cube Farm - Evil Copier

This is the evil copy machine that we all love to hate. Ours must have a built mood sensor since it always knows when I am a hurry, because that's when it always does one of the following:
- shreds my originals
- jams up beyond all possibility of repair
- very nicely accordions an 8 1/2 by 11 down to 8 1/2 by 1 (how does it do that?)
- is being used by some idiot copying the phone book, 100 copies of his kid's sports roster, etc

I have included two .stl's, one with ears and one without ea