Futility Biscuit

What says futility better than a 3D recreation of a biscuit released in 1874 by Peek Freans to celebrate the wedding of [Grand Duchess Maria Alexandrovna of Russia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Duchess_Maria_Alexandrovna_of_Russia) to the Duke of Edinburgh. The marriage was, alas, a spectacularly unhappy one with Maria stuck in a variety of cold, damp, boring British palaces.

You can change the text if you want. There's a version with a hanger so you can tie it to your Festivus pole. Or not.