Prison Mike

I'M PRISON MIKE!

You know why they call me Prison Mike?
Do you really expect me to not push you up against the wall, bee****h?
Hey, that's just the way we talk in the clink.

But I am here to scare you straight!
In prison, you are somebody's b****

OH, and YOU!
You would be, da belle of da ball.

DON'T DROP THE SOAP! DON'T DROP THE SOAP!

Where did I learn all this?
Internet. And prison. It's 50/50. Both.

Look, prison stinks is what I'm saying.
It's not like you can go home and recharge your batteries and come back in the morning and be with your friends having fun in the office.

What did I do?
I stole.
And I robbed.
And I kidnapped the President's son and held him for ransom.
AN I NEVER GOT CAUGHT NEITHER!

The food?
Gruel sandwiches. Guel omelets. Nothing but gruel. Plus, you can eat your own hair.

(Andy) - wow, prison sounds horrible.
Well, thank you, Andy. Tanks.

What was the worst thing about prison?
The worst thing about prison was the- was t