Slimmest Jimmest

Are you sad and lonely? Are finding yourself questioning the motives of those around you? Do you wear a tin foil hat at night so the aliens can't influence your dreams? If the answer to these questions are YES, then you need the new companion to humanity, The Slimmest Jimmest. Move over Fido, dog is no longer mankind's best friend, as you have been replaced by a 3D printed stick of meat.
The Slimmest Jimmest is the most powerful weapon of self defense ever invented. I'm willing to bet that in the presence of The Slimmest Jimmest, crime will be eradicated in an instant.